“The Potato Farm” tells the story of August’s foray into potato farming, his often uneasy partnership with Collier, and his intermittent interactions with Bud and Paulette. It’s slated for the next issue of the Black Scat Review. Here’s how it begins:
THE POTATO FARM
August entered the Camisole Tavern and approached Bud and Paulette, who were sipping porter at the bar.
“I’m starting a new business,” he announced, his face flushed with excitement.
“You could say hello first,” remarked Paulette.
“Hello,” said August.
“And what is it?” Bud asked.
“It’ll make me as rich as a king,” said August. “I’ll have vast wealth at my disposal, and won’t have to borrow small sums from my friends.”
“And what is it?“ Bud asked again.
“A potato farm,” August said.
“What a dumb idea,” Paulette replied.
“Far from it,” said August. “Just tell me, what’s in that bowl?”
“Potato chips,” said Bud.
“Which,” said August, “are not made from carrots, or buckwheat, or some other agricultural product, but from potatoes. Potatoes can be boiled, baked, fried, and mashed, even by an inexperienced cook. They sell like hotcakes. In fact, you can make hotcakes from them too.”
“We know all that,” said Paulette.
“You don’t even need yeast,” added August.
“True enough,” said Paulette, “but you know nothing about farming.”.
The bartender, a gaunt and wizened man named Collier, glared at August. “Buying a drink, or just disturbing the peace?” he asked.
“I’ll have a small vodka,” replied August with a smile. “That’s made from potatoes too!”
“Yes, we know,” said Paulette.
Collier set a glass before August, and retreated to his paper at the end of the bar.
“Here’s to my new career,” crowed August, brandishing his drink.
“You know nothing about farming,” Paulette repeated.
“I can learn,” August said. “How much are potato trees, anyway? Do they sell them by the dozen, or is it all metric now?”…
Tags: *Words · P
December 28th, 2021 · 2 Comments
“Scuttles of Petals” was written by assigning letters of the alphabet to the top 26 pitches of the keyboard, and then spelling the names of flowers, yielding pitches that follow linguistic, rather than common-practice, patterns. The names go from 13 to 4 letters, a sequence that is repeated three times. The first set is: chrysanthemum, salpiglossis, wintergreen, periwinkle, hydrangea, daffodil, anemone, orchid, tulip, rose.
Tags: *Music · S
December 21st, 2021 · Comments Off on Quand vient le solstice
Happy Solstice! This song was written for Meg Reichardt’s annual Holiday Recording Party. I wrote it in French, since Meg is a Francophile. Here’s the translation:
The nights grow longer when the solstice comes, which is favorable for nights of dreaming.
When the nights are short, the long days are sunny, but empty of dreams.
Someday our star will fall to pieces: that, for the planet, will be a disaster.
But the night of dreams will be a delight, when that great solstice lasts unceasingly.
Tags: *Music · Q
December 14th, 2021 · Comments Off on Shorten the Classics
Shorten the Classics is now available from Black Scat Books! This book reduces 52 great works of literature to one cartoon page apiece: not by summarizing them, but by cutting them off early. See what happens when Helen rejects Paris, the acorn misses Chicken Little, Adam and Eve eat the serpent, Leopold Bloom sleeps in, and Samoan women tell Margaret Mead to mind her own business. Tragedies are prevented, lives are saved, and the world becomes a better place. And you can find it on Amazon.
Tags: *Cartoons · S
December 3rd, 2021 · 1 Comment
This, I think, will be the first page of my upcoming comic book Shorten the Classics. I may as well start by aborting the Trojan War. Good riddance!
Tags: *Cartoons · S
November 16th, 2021 · Comments Off on Black Scat Review 23
The 23rd issue of Black Scat Review is now available! It’s devoted to “wordplay,” and includes several pages of Doug Skinner: my translations of two poems by Raymond Queneau (depicted on the cover) and four pages of my upcoming comic book Shorten the Classics. Also on board are the stellar crew of Mark Axelrod, Tom Barrett, Kevin Brown, Norman Conquest, Brian Coughlan, John Crouse, S. C. Delaney, Paul Forrestal, Ryan Forsythe, Eckhard Gerdes, Penelope Gerdes, Joseph Harms, Amy Kurman, Opal Louis Nations, Angelo Pastormerlo, Steve Patterson, Derek Pell, Agnès Potier, Paul Rosheim, Gerard Sarnat, Carla M. Wilson, and D. Harlan Wilson. You can find it on Amazon. When you find it, buy a copy!
Tags: *Cartoons · *Words · B
November 11th, 2021 · 2 Comments
Tags: *Index Cards
November 8th, 2021 · Comments Off on Happy Nudists from Outer Space
To celebrate the release of the movie The Mothman Prophecies, based on the book by John Keel, Fortean Times published a special Mothman issue (#156, April 2002). I contributed an interview with John, aided by George Kuchar and Mamie Caton, as well as a Keelian bio and bibliography. I also wrote a short article about Woodrow Derenberger, one of the contactees John wrote about in the book. John was amused by the title, since he had once written a proposal for a movie called Nudists from Outer Space, which I hadn’t known about. (It turned up after John’s death, and is posted here.)
Tags: *Words · H
November 4th, 2021 · Comments Off on Shorten the Classics: Chicken Little
In another shortened classic, Chicken Little doesn’t think the sky is falling. What a relief!
Tags: *Cartoons · S
October 29th, 2021 · Comments Off on Lasciate l’ombre
A setting of part of Il Vendemmiatore, by Luigi Tansillo, which I encountered quoted by Giordano Bruno in his dialogue La Cena de le ceneri. The part I set is:
Lasciate l’ombre, ed abbracciate il vero;
Non cangiate il presente col futuro.
Io d’aver di miglior già non dispero;
Ma per viver più lieto e più sicuro,
Godo il presente e del futuro spero:
Cosi doppia dolcezza mi procuro.
Leave the shadows, and embrace the truth;
Do not exchange the present for the future.
I do not despair of having something better;
But by living more gladly and more calmly,
I enjoy the present and hope for the future:
And so I obtain double sweetness.
It was based on randomized four-pitch diatonic chords, like the “Nine Settings.”
Tags: *Music · L