Doug Skinner: An Archive on Your Gizmo

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An Aria from “The Pope’s Mustard-Maker”

July 16th, 2019 · Comments Off on An Aria from “The Pope’s Mustard-Maker”

I’m currently translating Alfred Jarry’s operetta Le Moutardier du pape for Black Scat Books; it should be out later this year. I’m translating Jarry’s rhymed verse as rhymed verse; it always requires some compromise, but I hope the result is more faithful than a literal, unrhymed rendition would be (and more faithful than Jarry’s own rhymed translation of “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”!). Jarry called his operettas his théâtre mirlitonnesque, his “kazoo theater,” and his verse is suitably lively, filled with rhymes, alliteration, assonance, wordplay, and varied meters. The subject is the medieval legend of Pope Joan; Jarry turns it into a bawdy farce, and Joan becomes an Englishwoman named Jane.

Here’s an aria from the end of the first act, in which Jane’s husband, Sir John of Eggs, describes his runaway wife to the pope, and gradually recognizes her. I’ll give the first stanza in the original, so you can see what I’m up against.

Elle a de tout petits petons,
Petits, petits… comment peut-on
A sa pantoufl’ de Cendrillon
Trouver la paire?
Petits, petits… hé mais, Saint Père
–Que m’excuse Sa Sainteté
De la très grande liberté,
Successeur du princ’ des apôtres–
Petits, petits… comme les vôtres.

I
She has such pretty little feet,
So elegant and so petite,
No Cinderella could compete
Or could compare.
But Holy Father, if I dare,
And pray excuse my forwardness,
I must confess, Your Holiness.
Successor to Saint Peter’s throne,
Those little feet… are like your own.

II
And when she smooths her satin skirt,
Her finger’s such a little flirt,
So debonair, and so alert
For an affair.
A little finger… if I dare,
And pray excuse my forwardness,
I must confess, Your Holiness,
Successor to Saint Peter’s throne,
A little finger… like your own.

III
Her waist is like a shoot in spring,
A scepter worthy of a king,
Her belt is like a narrow ring
That brings despair.
So narrow, narrow… if I dare,
And pray excuse my forwardness,
I must confess, Your Holiness,
Successor to Saint Peter’s throne,
So narrow, narrow… like your own.

IV
If once again I saw those eyes,
If to their level I could rise,
So somber, wicked, wild, and wise,
A savage lair…
But Holy Father, if I dare,
And pray excuse my forwardness,
I must confess, Your Holiness,
To put it plain…
(Pointing to the POPESS.) But you are Jane!

Comments Off on An Aria from “The Pope’s Mustard-Maker”Tags: *Words · A

Index Cards (90)

June 30th, 2019 · Comments Off on Index Cards (90)

Comments Off on Index Cards (90)Tags: *Index Cards

Anagram Rhymes

June 23rd, 2019 · 2 Comments

Here’s another new poetic constraint: the anagram rhyme. As the name says, anagrams are treated as rhymes. Here are seven examples:

Whenever we go out, the post
Beside the park is still the spot
Where our retriever always opts
To tug upon his leash and stop.

The life of urban man is tame:
He earns his wage; he cheers his team;
He swigs his beer; he eats his meat;
He quarrels with his chosen mate.

When he complained about the rates,
The agent shot him with a taser.
A crowd of idlers stopped to stare
And ridicule him for his tears.

The kitchen strictly must debar
The men who knead and bake the bread
From working with their faces bared,
Especially those who wear a beard.

Escape from all the city’s bustle,
And stop to sniff the blooming bluets;
For their aroma is so subtle,
Their pigmentation quite the bluest.

The savvy goose and cautious gander
Knew not to wander from the garden.
Beyond the paling, there was danger,
For that was where the foxes ranged.

The poet who had once aspired
To be admired and widely praised
Now wipes his kids and changes diapers
In resignation and despair.

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Instrumentarium

June 8th, 2019 · Comments Off on Instrumentarium

Instrumentarium is now available from Black Scat Books! This delightful volume collects the drawings of imaginary musical instruments I contributed monthly to Le Scat Noir, plus many previously unpublished. Among the 180 selected here are such inventions as the Painpipes, the Sprinkler Trombone, the Sponge Marimba, and the Calfbell.

As our culture grows ever more reductive and conformist, this celestial orchestra brings to you the almost forgotten pleasures of musical variety. Available from Black Scat Books or Amazon.

Comments Off on InstrumentariumTags: *Cartoons · *Music · I

Monosyllabic Haiku

June 2nd, 2019 · 2 Comments

Here’s another entry in my continuing search for new poetic constraints. Monosyllabic haiku contain three one-syllable words, with 5, 7, and 5 letters. And here are seven examples:

moose
springs
forth

tweak
twelfth
shelf

cheap
schlock
sells

bears
scratch
backs

white
wraiths
whirl

swill
thrills
swine

frail
scrolls
crack

→ 2 CommentsTags: *Words · M

Proverb (7)

May 28th, 2019 · 2 Comments

A five-part round, setting a French proverb on the danger of eating eggs.

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More Musical Instruments

May 22nd, 2019 · 2 Comments

I’m currently collecting my cartoons of imaginary musical instruments, which appeared in the PDF magazine Le Scat Noir, into a book. I also drew some new ones. Here are a few.

 

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Index Cards (89)

May 12th, 2019 · 2 Comments

→ 2 CommentsTags: *Index Cards

Cryptogram 1

May 6th, 2019 · 2 Comments

A musical cryptogram is written like a substitution cipher, by assigning another pitch to each pitch. The result has the same rhythm and repetitions as the original, but with different pitches. I chose the minuet from Bach’s third French Suite because I like it, and because it uses all twelve pitches. Here’s the first page.

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The Book of Weirdo

May 1st, 2019 · 2 Comments

Jon B. Cooke’s Book of Weirdo, an encyclopedic history of R. Crumb’s sorely-missed humor magazine, is now out from Last Gasp. It includes reminiscences from most of the artists, as well as photos from the time they contributed. A cartoon of mine was published in the 13th issue, so I’m in there with everyone else. Here I am in the endpapers, between Etoain Shrdlu and Art Spiegelman, with a photo taken from a performance in Amsterdam.

It’s a vastly entertaining and provocative book. Buy a copy!

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